Shushan Pie by Ellen Leonard, 5760
(to the tune of Bye Bye Miss American Pie, by Don McLean)

A long, long time ago 
In Shushan, Persia far away 
Ahasuerus was the king. 
He made a banquet. It was grand, 
Invited guests from all the land 
And called Queen Vashti down to dance and sing. 
But Vashti, well, she wouldn’t go 
She locked the door and she said, “NO!” 
The king just couldn’t face her. 
His advisers said, “Replace her.” 
They called for maidens far and wide 
To choose the one to be his bride 
And now Queen Esther’s by his side. 
She wears his wedding ring. 

Chorus: 
My, my Mordechai 
Better go and pester Esther ‘cause you're 
such a good guy 
Haman’s got a plan so you’d better fly 
‘Cause he’s saying that the Jews will all die. 
He’s saying that the Jews will all die. 

Did you think this Jewish girl 
Could win over a palace churl? 
Well, the Megillah says she can. 
Did you think she’d convince the king 
And that he’d listen to everything 
That she would tell him about Haman’s plan? 
Though Haman thought he deserved renown 
The king let Mordechai wear his crown 
He let him ride his horse, and wear his robes, of course 
And Haman hated Mordechai 
He wished he could spit in his eye 
And so he said, “The Jews must die.” 
And sent an edict down. 

Chorus:

My, my Mordechai 
Better go and pester Esther ‘cause you're 
such a good guy 
Haman’s got a plan so you’d better fly 
‘Cause he’s saying that the Jews will all die. 
He’s saying that the Jews will all die. 

Mordechai was very sad 
“Esther, admit you’re a Jew,” he said. 
“Remind the king you’ll perish, too. 
If Haman’s wicked plan succeeds 
And he gets away with his evil deeds 
The king will be a widower, it’s true.” 
So Esther, she rose to the task 
And did as Mordechai had asked 
She made the king believe 
And he granted us reprieve. 
So on the 14th of Adar 
All the Jews, both near and far 
Rose up to fight and win the war 
In Persia, long ago. 

Chorus: 

My, my Mordechai 
Better go and pester Esther ‘cause you're 
such a good guy 
Haman’s got a plan so you’d better fly 
‘Cause he’s saying that the Jews will all die. 
He’s saying that the Jews will all die. 

The story, it was quite a thriller 
As we read in the Megillah 
Evil once more turned away. 
Each year I dress up and go to Shul 
I think that Purim’s really cool 
More fun than any other holiday. 
And then I’ll eat a Hamentasch 
I’ll drink some wine, or maybe schnapps 
My gregger I’ll be swinging 
“Elimelech” I’ll be singing. 
‘Cause Haman who we hated most 
Ended up with his head on a post 
His wife, his sons, and line were lost 
But the Jews will never die. 

Final Chorus: 
My, my Mordechai 
Better go and pester Esther ‘cause you’re 
such a good guy 
Haman’s got a plan, so you’d better fly 
‘Cause he’s saying that the Jews will all die 
But we know that the Jews will never die.